eli

just realized that i don't even have a tag for darling eli. wee one as i like to call him.

it's probably because i usually do my blog posts at night and night time is his fussy time. jon and i take turns holding him, rocking him, showering him with attention.

he's 3 months old already.

he smiles with his whole mouth. not just an upwards lift of his lips. it's an all out open mouth grin.

i could just eat him up.

i do know i sit and stare at him more than i did with the other kids. he's my last baby. my last chance to be present in these his moments of baby-being.

people ask me what kind of personality he has. with each kid i've had, i've become less and less able to respond to that kind of question. i'm just not sure.

it could be because i'm less tuned into how eli is different than the others, that this collective mass of baby personalities has merged together, that i feebly try to define him by what the others aren't or are.

but i think it's also because i've grown much more humble as a parent over these 6 years. there's much more that i don't know and there much more that i'm ok with not knowing or needing to label or fit into a tidy label or description.