Sunday, December 6, 2009

I need my kids...

This past week it snowed for the first time this winter season. On Thursday, we woke up to the world carpeted in pure white.

My first reaction was to sigh and lament the extra work involved in scraping off the car and getting the kids dressed in their hats, mittens, snowpants, boots.

My kids, on the other hand, were so excited. They were outside playing in the snow at 7:45, shreiking with delight as they rolled around in, played with, and ate the snow.

I needed them to remind me of the magic and beauty in snow.

Monday, August 31, 2009

random thoughts

claire's first day of kindergarten is tomorrow.

jacob is obsessed with wearing shoes, especially ones that are 3 sizes too big.

david loves his new rollerblades, loves to tell people that his dad has some too.

am reading american wife right now. so very interesting.

have started collecting data for my dissertation. never thought i'd actually get to this part.

jon's latest fascination is with ripstiks.

have been dialoguing with friends about the book 40 good reasons not to have kids.

the kids and i picked 8 lbs of blueberries last week.

jon and i have found a new tv show to love and cherish. we miss the days of west wing, six feet under, and the wire. now, we've launched onto mad men. episode 3 and we're officially hooked.

jacob is a very loud kid.

i'm reading the lion, the witch and the wardrobe to claire and david. they are scared of the white witch. claire can't understand why aslan would die. they thought that the witch gave edmund "meat" (their interpretation of turkish...turkey delight). how i love that book.

claire is obsessed with bead art. you put tiny beads on molds and then iron them together. she does this for hours and hours. it's fun to see the patterns she comes up with.

claire's inventive practices also fascinate me. she got the idea of putting a broken crayon in a marker cap/lid so that it's easier to hold. it really does work.

david loves, absolutely loves playing soccer. if only he wouldn't fall down from laughing all the time.

jacob is 1 1/2 going on 5. he has to do everything the big kids are doing. this includes flossing his teeth and using mouthwash.

that's all for now.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I haven't been blogging lately...

...but I have been resonating with a book titled: Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace (Ayelet Waldman)

David and the roll of peppermints

I'm not sure if the third time is the charm but I managed to survive my third trip to my parents sans Jon.

I bribed. I overindulged my kids with candy. I bought them lots of timbits. I let them listen to the Robert Munsch storytelling CD seven times even though I was annoyed with it the first time. At one point in the trip when all three of them were either whining, crying or complaining, I put in a Natalie Merchant CD and turned up the music very loud.

But, all in all, it was another great experience.

Here are two David memories.

On the drive to Stouffville, I remember (as I think back on it) that he was very quiet for a two hour stretch. At the time I assumed he was just listening to the music. As I cleaned up the car after getting to my parents though, I realized just what was keeping him quiet. We had stopped at my grandparents' place in Sarnia and they had given us a roll of peppermints to take with us. Somehow that brand new roll of peppermints ended up in David's possession. As I discovered, he entertained himself during that two hour stretch by sampling every since peppermint in that roll. Some were dissolved in various stages - they were nicely placed in a semi-circle around his car seat. Others must have been consumed in their entirety.

On the drive home, I tried to limit his sugar intake. I gave a rather large bag of trail mix to David and had a long talk wit him about ratios, about how he needed to eat five nuts or raisins for every M&M and how he WASN"T allowed to eat all the M&Ms. Once again, as I recall, there was a stretch of our trip home when David was very quiet. At the time, I think I assumed he was busy counting. When I got home and discovered the bag of trail mix, I found out that dear David did not grasp the concept of ratios but that he had taken to heart my command to not eat all the M&Ms. There was one M&M left in the bag. The bag was still full.

"No!" he said shaking his finger at me

Because of David Shannon's book No David, we've associated that word with David. Lately though, it seems to be Jacob's credo.

When I tell him not to do something ("No Jacob - you can't put your hands in the toilet"), he's been imitating me and repeating "No, no, no". Pursed lips. Index finger wagging.

When David tripped and banged his head against the door, Jacob walked up to the door, bent down to where David's head hit it, and sternly wagged his finger. "No, no, no"

When he's in bed and finds his empty water cup off to the corner, he picks it up. "No, no, no" he says, shaking both his finger and the cup at the same time (no small feat).

Monday, May 25, 2009

How to Eat Fried Worms...

Claire, David and I are reading How to Eat Fried Worms.

Jon and I both remember reading it when we were younger.

It's not a terribly well written book but the concept is fascinating. We just read the part where the boy's mom is thinking about making Wormloaf or Wormballs and Spaghetti.

I bought the kids some gummy worms so they could act parts of the story out.

Claire has decided that she would eat 15 worms but only if she could have 10 days in between eating each one.

David says that he would eat all of them in one shot.

He has two noses

Jon convinced David that Jacob now has two noses.

It's a long story.

Two weeks ago, we were talking with our backyard neighbours Trygve and Kristen. They have a dog named Whitby who loves our kids. Our kids love him right back.

Kristen threw a ball for Whitby and it landed right where Jacob was sitting on the grass. In trying to get the ball, Whitby ran right into Jacob, his head hitting Jacob's forehead. Jacob started screaming and so we all focused our attention on him. I picked him up, comforted him and noticed that he had a little bump on his forehead.

Meanwhile, Whitby fell to the ground. None of us noticed it at first but then Tryg and Kristen saw that he was having a seizure and couldn't get up. Scary stuff.

In short though, Jacob stopped crying, the bump on his head went away in a day or so. Whitby ended up being ok (they think he had a concussion...go figure...a dog four times the size of Jacob and Jacob ends up faring better than him!).

A week later, on our neighbor's trampoline, Jacob crashed into David's elbow. Same spot on the forehead as where Whitby hit him. Jacob didn't cry but a goose egg, a huge one, immediately formed on his forehead. There was some bruising on it but it really was so big that it did look like a second nose.

Now, almost a week after the fact, the goose egg is just a nasty looking bruise on his forehead (a conversation piece for anyone who sees Jacob). David, however, is still convinced that Jacob sprouted another nose.

It's official...he's finally walking

Jacob has FINALLY decided to do more walking that crawling.

At 17 months, it's about time.

I've tried so hard to give him the space he needs to be himself. I've given myself pep talks for months now:

He'll walk when he wants to.
Let him decide when he wants to walk.
Kids don't need to fit into a standardized developmental schedule - they are all individuals.
It's easier and faster for him to crawl.

BUT, can I tell you how many pairs of his pants have the knees ripped on them? Can I tell you how frustrating it is when we're at a public restroom and I can't put him on the ground? Can I tell you how filthy he gets from crawling around on the dirt, grass, sand, cement in our backyard?

Saturday, May 23, 2009

"My life is going by so fast" she said

We've been talking a lot about kindergarten lately.

Claire had her last day of preschool yesterday. As she was getting ready for school, she told me that she was feeling happy and sad at the same time. Happy because she's going to kindergarten in the fall. Sad because she will miss her preschool teacher Miss Meghan.

After preschool was over, the kids and I went for a walk. "Mom, my life is going by so fast" Claire declared as we walked down 8th Street. "I can't believe I'm going to kindergarten already."

Yes, my darling girl, your life has gone by quickly.

I remember pushing you in the stroller down 8th Street (when the stroller was much much newer and cleaner), I remember when you didn't want to go in the stroller any more but wanted to walk (oh so very slowly) by yourself, I remember when you found out how fast you could fly on Cappy and I had to run to keep up, I remember when you rode your tricycle, I remember last summer when you learned to ride your two wheeler. And, I will remember this moment. Walking on 8th Street, on a warm May afternoon, with the two boys in the stroller and you beside me contemplating life and your place in the world.

Bonnie Miller-McLemore, in her book In the Midst of Chaos - Caring for Children as a Spiritual Practice, (2007) writes about "mundane grief", about how, if "day-to-day parenting is a practice that is deeply spiritual, and if parenting is filled with loss, then learning to grieve within families is essential to our lives with God and one another".

Parents "inevitably begin losing their children as soon as they are born," remarks historican Anne Higonnet. In fact, the word care, according to poet Kathleen Norris, "derives from an Indo-European word mening to 'cry out' as in a lament." In her poem, "Ascension," written as she thinks about her birthing sister bearing down in labor on the day commemorating Jesus' rising to heaven, she pictures the "new mother, that leaky vessel" nursing her child, "beginning the long good-bye." beginning the long good-bye. (p. 180)

Miller-McLemore importantly points out that these moments of mundane grief, these times of letting go also need to be seen as celebrated moments of blessing. After all, a parent's role is to prepare one's child for these new steps and stages.

And so, Claire-bear, as I struggle with letting go and celebrate what you are excited about and ready for, I guess you could say that I feel sad and happy as well.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

what i've been thinking about

i have been in academia long enough to recognize patterns in my behavior.

whenever i get stressed or overly anxious about my school work, i become increasingly interested in any other non-school related topics/issues - all in the effort to procrastinate and fantasize about doing work on other interesting topics.

lately, my interest has been in parenting articles/perspectives. in all honesty, i seem to just stumble across them (an article in our local newspaper, a segment on npr that i listened to while i was driving, casual disscussions with friends).

anyway, here are two of the most recent ones. perhaps some day, i'll do scholarly work on the cultural themes/discourses across these pieces/perspectives and my positionality in relation to them. but first i need to finish (or actually start) my dissertation :)

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=103794433

claire wants her own space

Our three kids all share one bedroom.

This seems to be working well, aside from the hour long parties that they have when we put them to bed. Last night, it was a "rain party". Claire tore up multiple sheets of paper and threw them off her top bunk, making them rain down on David's bed and the floor. Jacob, not to miss out on the fun, stood up in his crib and laughed with delight.

Claire, however, just might need her own space. As I've written about before, her bed has become "her" little world. At first, she kept a few stuffed animals by her pillow. Then she added blankets and little pillows for them. Then it was little boxes of treasures. And now, the head of her bed AND the side of her bed are full of boxes, paper, trinkets, special things, and the list goes on. Have I mentioned that there's also a boom box at the foot of her bed with two buckets full of stuff on top of it?

The other night she told me that she wished she had two beds. She immediately corrected herself and changed the number to three. Why? She has plans to put her entire dresser up in one of her beds "so the boys don't get into it".

I'm thinking we might need to honor her desire for a little more space...

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April Fools Day - David style

I taught the kids about how to play April Fools Day tricks today.

David was hilarious. He would come up with the most random thing and then say it in the same breath he would say "April Fools!".

For example,

"Mom - there's a wolf on your head April Fools Day."

Next year I'll need to work on the dramatic pause.

"M-O-M-M-Y"

Claire is into spelling. Over the past several days, she has tried to spell instead of say words. Granted, she has a very limited repertoire of words that she knows how to spell but somehow, the spelling of these ten words in everyday conversation has gotten extremely annoying,

This is what it's been like.

Claire: "M-O-M-M-Y"
Me (trying to play along): "Y-E-S- C-L-A-I-R-E?"
Claire: "J-A-C-O-B N-O L" (translation - Jacob is eating a leaf and he shouldn't be)
Me (forgetting about the spelling part): "What? Get that out of your mouth Jacob! Claire - talk to me normally. Did he get that from the tree?"
Claire: "Y-E-S"

...in the whole wide world!"

The latest Davidism is that when he's doing something he likes, he proclaims in a loud voice, "This is the best in the whole wide world!"

Yesterday he said this five times. Perhaps he has my gift of hyperbole.

"I want to be 4 things"

This evening, while I was at MSU, Jon tried to explain to Claire that I was a student and a teacher at the same time. It was hard for her to understand until Jon described it as similar to how she is going to be a "mom and a pastor at the same time" (this is per her talk with Jon several months ago when he impressed upon her that she could be a mom AND something else as well).

The description seemed to be lost on Claire as she immediately corrected Jon and said that she now wants to be four things at the same time when she grows up. Her words: "I want to be a mom, a basketball player, a swimmer, and....(dramatic pause) a volleyball player"

Hmm. The kid can't swim yet, has never played basketball or volleyball and doesn't appear to have much overall athletic talent or drive. But, there it is. Claire, age 5, life ambitions.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Why is she wearing that dress?

I took David James into church with me on Sunday so that he could hear Claire sing in the children's choir.

As we sat there waiting for church to start, he amused himself by point out the people around us that he knew. When Kama, wearing her robe, started the service by reading from the liturgy, David blurted out, "Why is she wearing that dress?"

Good to be reminded of things that I don't notice anymore.

Not so good to be trying to keep David quiet when he found out I forgot the peppermints.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Spending the afternoon together

The boys are napping and Claire and I are making crafts together. The table is covered with craft supplies - beads, buttons, necklace string, Q-tips, markers. Right now we're gluing beads onto old CDs.

Claire takes a break from her work. "I see two fans on the ceiling Mom" she tells me. Then, in an almost reverent tone, she explains, "When you cross your eyes, you can see two of everything!"

Friday, February 13, 2009

like father... like mother

Grandma Elly put together a Valentine's bag for us and we opened it yesterday. Among other things, she included 5 Kit Kat chocolate bars. I gave Claire and David one to eat yesterday afternoon during tea time.

Here's the difference between my oldest two:

Claire: Oh look (she says as she tears open the wrapper)! There's two chocolate bars here. I'm going to save one for tomorrow.

David: (no response - he's stuffing both bars in his mouth).

Claire: David! Save one of your bars for tomorrow. You want to do that (she's become quite the master of manipulation and can talk her brother into doing almost anything). I'm doing that. Come on David. Save one for tomorrow (she pulls one of the bars out of his mouth).

We put the two pieces of chocolate in a special container and place it on the window sill.

The next morning at breakfast David spies the chocolate.

David: Mom. I need my chocolate.

I give them the chocolate bars after they finish with their granola.

Claire: Look Mom. I'm breaking up my chocolate bar into five little pieces so I can save some of them till later.

David: (no response). Big smile with chocolate all over his lips.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

I had forgotten what a delightful tale this book is.

Claire and I started reading it today during the boys' nap time.

I was only going to read the first 2 chapters.

We read 9.

Matters of the heart

Dancing with delight is how I often describe what we do when we hear that family members/friends have had babies.

This week, we've been dancing with delight over the arrival of Gloria Zuidema, the fourth child of my dear friend Sandra and her wonderful husband Tim.

I've been following their blog for awhile because rather early on in Sandra's pregnancy they found out that there were lots of complications with Gloria's heart.

This week, as the kids and I said their bedtime prayers, we prayed for Gloria. I then explained to them that we'll need to pray for her a lot because her heart doesn't work as well as ours. I explained that Gloria has 2 holes in her heart, that part of her heart didn't grow as much as it should have.

From the top bunk, Claire piped up, "Is Jesus still in her heart?"

Yes indeed my darling Claire, he is. I think even more so.

Signing on the dotted line

Claire now has her own library card. While Jon stayed home with the boys, Claire and I walked to the library a few nights ago and filled out the form.

On the signature line, she wrote her first and last name.

Though the "N"s were backwards and there was an unpredictable mix of lower and upper case letters, there it was. Claire Van Duinen.

It was a beautiful moment. She was so proud, so self aware that this was a big step of independence. Desperately trying to live in the moment and not overanalyze or overemotionalize (a word?) the event, I suggested the only thing that came to mind as I looked at my five year old daughter and her bright eyes and big smile and the new little blue card in her hand,

"Let's go to the coffeeshop and celebrate"

Celebrate we did. We ate cinnamon rolls and then went upstairs and checked out 20 books.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang - Van Duinen style

Richler's classic, Jacob Two-Two..., has now become part of our family vocabulary.

"Pretend you're the Hooded Fang" Claire said to me today during lunch. And so, I acted out our Van Duinen version (which ended up being a mix between the book's description of the Hooded Fang and the waitress character named Mrs. Francois - the character that the kids love for me to act out whenever we have moments like this. My acting career ended in middle school. Mrs Francois is the extent of my repertoire.)

Claire's favorite part of the story is when the Hooded Fang starts crying and wails, "I want my mommy." I talked with her about my idea to have a mother daughter book club when she gets older. After I described what people do in a book club, she thought for a moment and then started giggling. "If we had a book club about Jacob Two-Two, I would want to talk about how the Hooded Fang cries and wants his mommy" she said barely able to contain herself.

A delightful book - one that I enjoyed (re)reading as much as Claire did.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Learning from my kids

The kids are making forts today. As I carry a load a laundry through the room, I stumble over blankets, pillows, and the worlds that they represent. I need to be reminded that everyday objects like the cushions on our ugly couch can be transformed into magical kingdoms, that food tastes better when eaten in a small dark home created by little hands, that the laundry can wait.

Duct tape darling

Our little man in motion continues in his quest of finding and eating everything in sight.

We can now add duct tape to the list.

To get to this new stage of gourmet eating, Jacob ate through the plastic and foam from the kid sized table and chairs that we have in our toy room. Yup. He ate the plastic (and foam underneath) off the chairs.

To cover it up, Jon slapped down multiple layers of duct tape, priding himself in being able to outsmart the kid.

Alas. The duct tape was intact for just a few hours before we noticed Jacob tearing off pieces of duct tape from the chair.

What's next?

The Deconstructor and the scary Three Little Pigs

I took Claire and David to a symphony performance this past weekend. Together with the Ballet Company, the GR Symphony performed a version of Little Red Riding Hood.

It was fun. The orchestra members were all wearing different colored shirts depending on their musical "family" and before things began, some orchestra members came into the audience and let kids touch their instruments. The conductor, who Claire referred to as the "deconstructor", was funny and did a great job of having the kids interact with him. (Hmmm. Deconstructor. Have my grad school terms rubbed off on my darling 5 year old?!)

All was going well until the Three Little Pigs ran on stage (this version of Little Red Riding Hood was quite funny).

It was at this point that David got freaked out. He buried his face in my chest for the rest of the performance, emerging only to accept the peppermint, sucker and piece of gum that I offered to him in the hopes of getting him out of his frightened frame of mind. The bribing didn't work. He slobbered on the candy while remaining buried in my shirt.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Put your napkin on your lap!

I've been working on table manners with the kids. My efforts haven't seemed successful.

Last Sunday, we had Sunday dinner with our friends the Hekmans. As we were all beginning to eat, David shouts out (in his endearing/annoying almost 3 year old voice that only has one volume level) to Grandpa Jim, whose napkin lay untouched beside him,

"Put your napkin on your lap!"

Legos

Claire got some Legos for her birthday from Aunt Laura and Uncle Jay. We spread them out over the dining room table and Jon helps them create houses, cars, creatures and the like.

Claire needs to get used to the idea that you don't need to make the same things every time you play with Legos. David needs to stop crying every time one of his Lego pieces breaks off. Jacob needs to learn that Legos aren't to be eaten. And Jon? Jon needs to remember that reality exists outside of his Lego worlds :)

Double fisting it

Jacob has developed a love for holding objects in both of his hands...for extended periods of time. A few days ago, he held a toothbrush in one hand and a dish scrubber in the other all morning. He even went down for his nap tightly holding to both.

Watching football with Claire

Jon and Claire are sitting on the couch watching some Sunday afternoon football.

I can't help but overhead some of their conversation.

"That car is driving way too fast" (car commercial)

"Dad, do any girls play football?"

"Why are they wearing those masks on their faces?"

"Are they friends with each other?"

"Why do those girls with the pom poms look so silly?" (ok, I added that one)