"mommy - pick me up"
"tank you mommy tank you"
"i lovf you forever and forever"
favorite songs: john jacob jingleheimersmidt, on grandpa's farm, hokey pokey, jesus loves me,
favorite TV show: kippur
Friday, September 3, 2010
the year of focused calling
it has begun.
i started calling this year of dissertation writing my year of saying no (to everything except to my family and to my dissertation).
my wise sister Sarah encouraged me to reframe that as my year of focused calling. it's my year to focus specifically on my dissertation, to my calling as a scholar, researcher, writer.
i vacillate between feeling overwhelmed, feeling extremely blessed and fortunate (so few people in this world get the luxury of having the time/opportunity/job to thinking/writing/reading), feeling resentful of the demands of this work (for me, for Jon, for my kids), feeling excited about what i'm researching, and on and on.
i remember in my guidance committee meeting a few years back, one of my committee members asked me about the affordances that motherhood provides for my life as a scholar. the question took me off guard. i hadn't even considered having space in that meeting to discuss such an issue.
years later, i'm still reflecting on that question. and, i'm thinking about the interrelated one: how my scholarship helps me with motherhood/parenting.
more to come.
i started calling this year of dissertation writing my year of saying no (to everything except to my family and to my dissertation).
my wise sister Sarah encouraged me to reframe that as my year of focused calling. it's my year to focus specifically on my dissertation, to my calling as a scholar, researcher, writer.
i vacillate between feeling overwhelmed, feeling extremely blessed and fortunate (so few people in this world get the luxury of having the time/opportunity/job to thinking/writing/reading), feeling resentful of the demands of this work (for me, for Jon, for my kids), feeling excited about what i'm researching, and on and on.
i remember in my guidance committee meeting a few years back, one of my committee members asked me about the affordances that motherhood provides for my life as a scholar. the question took me off guard. i hadn't even considered having space in that meeting to discuss such an issue.
years later, i'm still reflecting on that question. and, i'm thinking about the interrelated one: how my scholarship helps me with motherhood/parenting.
more to come.
he is a gift to us
eli has 7 teeth. he sits up. he eats finger foods. he brightens up a room with his smile. he, like all of them, is a gift to us.
someone asked me how old he was a few days ago. i told them that he was 6 months old. jon reminded me later that eli is actually nearing 8 months.
oops.
i think i'll be doing that to him for the rest of his life.
someone asked me how old he was a few days ago. i told them that he was 6 months old. jon reminded me later that eli is actually nearing 8 months.
oops.
i think i'll be doing that to him for the rest of his life.
steps away from us
claire was itching to go to school this morning. "when can we go?" she kept asking as i was trying to feed eli, clean up the breakfast dishes, get jacob and david dressed, pack claire's lunch and put a few dabs of makeup on my face.
when we got there, we put her stuff in her locker and then went to her desk. as i was leaving, claire started hanging on my arm really tightly. and then, the tears came. "don't go mama" she said. "i want to stay with you"
her kind teacher gave her a hug and gently led her into the classroom. i waved good-bye and watched her enter the world of her first grade year, a world she's ready to enter, but a world that's new and different for her, for all of us.
i stood there waving, and then, my tears came.
parenting is about letting go - i know that. it's about letting go and blessing our children in the new steps they take. i think that this morning i had the realization, in the depths of my heart, that those steps are often steps away from us.
when we got there, we put her stuff in her locker and then went to her desk. as i was leaving, claire started hanging on my arm really tightly. and then, the tears came. "don't go mama" she said. "i want to stay with you"
her kind teacher gave her a hug and gently led her into the classroom. i waved good-bye and watched her enter the world of her first grade year, a world she's ready to enter, but a world that's new and different for her, for all of us.
i stood there waving, and then, my tears came.
parenting is about letting go - i know that. it's about letting go and blessing our children in the new steps they take. i think that this morning i had the realization, in the depths of my heart, that those steps are often steps away from us.
The Trumpet of the Swan
E B White comes through once again.
This time David, Claire and I are reading about Louis. He's delightful. And, we're all caught up in the drama. Should he have taken the trumpet? What will happen to him?
We came across the word "cygnet" in another book we were reading. "Mom!" Claire said with a big smile. "We know what that means!"
I think that's one of the biggest reason that I enjoy reading to my kids - the shared experience, the learning of new names, places, people together. In my grad school speak, I'd describe it something like: "the social purposes of literacy, the literacy practices embedded in relations, in home life, in parent child relationships". In my life at home, it's much more simple. It's one of the few times in my day when we all sit down together - they sit on my lap or close enough for our shoulders to touch. We talk, we read, we ask questions, we offer ideas, we laugh, we gulp in the story and always want more.
This past summer, we went to 3 HSRT children's performances: The Brand New Kid, Busy Town and Frog and Toad. Wonderful. All of them. Jacob still runs around and acts out the snail mail carrier from Frog and Toad. I catch David singing the "Cookies, cookies, cookies" song when he thinks no one is listening.
This time David, Claire and I are reading about Louis. He's delightful. And, we're all caught up in the drama. Should he have taken the trumpet? What will happen to him?
We came across the word "cygnet" in another book we were reading. "Mom!" Claire said with a big smile. "We know what that means!"
I think that's one of the biggest reason that I enjoy reading to my kids - the shared experience, the learning of new names, places, people together. In my grad school speak, I'd describe it something like: "the social purposes of literacy, the literacy practices embedded in relations, in home life, in parent child relationships". In my life at home, it's much more simple. It's one of the few times in my day when we all sit down together - they sit on my lap or close enough for our shoulders to touch. We talk, we read, we ask questions, we offer ideas, we laugh, we gulp in the story and always want more.
This past summer, we went to 3 HSRT children's performances: The Brand New Kid, Busy Town and Frog and Toad. Wonderful. All of them. Jacob still runs around and acts out the snail mail carrier from Frog and Toad. I catch David singing the "Cookies, cookies, cookies" song when he thinks no one is listening.
the boys and dress-up
with claire away at school, it's been fun to watch david and jacob at play together.
and, dress up seems to be the hot activity as of late.
in a 15 minute span, they had dressed up as "workers", as "surfers", as "sledders", and as "scary tigers".
they made me laugh. it would, however, have been more enjoyable for me had i not needed to assist them with just about every clothing change.
and, dress up seems to be the hot activity as of late.
in a 15 minute span, they had dressed up as "workers", as "surfers", as "sledders", and as "scary tigers".
they made me laugh. it would, however, have been more enjoyable for me had i not needed to assist them with just about every clothing change.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
i do, i do
in these past 2 weeks, i attended a wedding of a friend, helped grandma elly and grandpa tony celebrate their 50th anniversary and had a date night with jon - we went to a hope summer repertory theater production of "i do, i do", a play about the married life of a couple.
it's good to go to wedding and be reminded of the vows you made. in the sermon at the service, the pastor talked about how couples should "uncommonly bless" each other and those around them. i like that. "uncommonly bless"
it's good to go to wedding and be reminded of the vows you made. in the sermon at the service, the pastor talked about how couples should "uncommonly bless" each other and those around them. i like that. "uncommonly bless"
i can't explain you
david has been getting some words mixed up lately. it makes me laugh.
his latest: mixing up "understand" with "explain"
on the phone with tianna: "tianna, i can't explain you. mom - she's speaking too quiet"
his other funny thing? saying that he was really cheering for whichever team won. for example, today, after hearing that the dutch lost the world cup, he said to jon, "dad - i was really cheering for spain"
his latest: mixing up "understand" with "explain"
on the phone with tianna: "tianna, i can't explain you. mom - she's speaking too quiet"
his other funny thing? saying that he was really cheering for whichever team won. for example, today, after hearing that the dutch lost the world cup, he said to jon, "dad - i was really cheering for spain"
rock factory and flower shop
for hours upon hours during these sunny summer afternoons, the kids have been busy in the garage.
at first it was their school. claire acted out her kindergarten teacher "mrs johnson". they had recess. they had math time. they read. they requested food for lunch.
then, it was butterfly catchers. the burkes gave us some butterfly nets and the kids have spent afternoons upon afternoons looking for, running after and then trying to catch butterflies. there has only been nominal success as far as i can tell but their shrieks of delight during the whole process are evidence enough that the amount of butterflies captured isn't the goal.
and then, the most recent activity in the garage has been "rock factory". rock factory, as i have been able to gather (using the qualitative research skills that i've been developing as i work on my dissertation) is that the kids take rocks, spend lots of time deciding who gets which rocks (there seems to be a hierarchy of entitlement going on with angela and claire at the top and david at the bottom and then jacob at the way bottom), and then work hard at smashing the rocks into smaller rocks and/or rock sand. when they take breaks to catch butterflies, they put a sign out on the garage door and appoint david as the "guard".
as i stand in the kitchen and clean or cook and glance out at the activity coming in and out of the garage, i smile. i am reminded to delight in small things.
summer is good.
at first it was their school. claire acted out her kindergarten teacher "mrs johnson". they had recess. they had math time. they read. they requested food for lunch.
then, it was butterfly catchers. the burkes gave us some butterfly nets and the kids have spent afternoons upon afternoons looking for, running after and then trying to catch butterflies. there has only been nominal success as far as i can tell but their shrieks of delight during the whole process are evidence enough that the amount of butterflies captured isn't the goal.
and then, the most recent activity in the garage has been "rock factory". rock factory, as i have been able to gather (using the qualitative research skills that i've been developing as i work on my dissertation) is that the kids take rocks, spend lots of time deciding who gets which rocks (there seems to be a hierarchy of entitlement going on with angela and claire at the top and david at the bottom and then jacob at the way bottom), and then work hard at smashing the rocks into smaller rocks and/or rock sand. when they take breaks to catch butterflies, they put a sign out on the garage door and appoint david as the "guard".
as i stand in the kitchen and clean or cook and glance out at the activity coming in and out of the garage, i smile. i am reminded to delight in small things.
summer is good.
storytime with grandma alice
grandma alice and grandpa case live down the street from us. lately, david and claire and their faithful sidekick angela have been going over there to sit on the front porch and hear grandma alice tell stories.
alice is a fantastic storyteller but she also gives the kids lots of candy when they visit her. my hunch is that their motivation in going (every day for the past week!) is for a bit of both.
the other day i stopped by to make sure that it was ok with alice and case that the kids keep coming over. it seems that the kids have been giving alice and case as much entertainment as what they try to provide for them. alice told me about a conversation the kids had with her last sunday:
alice: ok kids, grandpa case and i have to get ready for evening church.
david: you go to church two times on sunday?
alice: yes
david: why do you go to church twice?
alice: because grandpa and i need to get wiser
a few minutes later...
david: can i go to church with you sometime? i want to get wiser too
alice is a fantastic storyteller but she also gives the kids lots of candy when they visit her. my hunch is that their motivation in going (every day for the past week!) is for a bit of both.
the other day i stopped by to make sure that it was ok with alice and case that the kids keep coming over. it seems that the kids have been giving alice and case as much entertainment as what they try to provide for them. alice told me about a conversation the kids had with her last sunday:
alice: ok kids, grandpa case and i have to get ready for evening church.
david: you go to church two times on sunday?
alice: yes
david: why do you go to church twice?
alice: because grandpa and i need to get wiser
a few minutes later...
david: can i go to church with you sometime? i want to get wiser too
Friday, June 18, 2010
Bambi mom died sad
I let the kids watch Bambi when I was at my parents' in April. David was too freaked out to watch all of it. He came upstairs part way through and didn't want to watch anymore of it.
Jacob, on the other hand, was mesmerized. I'm not sure how much he picked up of the film but he did say, repeatedly, in the days that followed "Bambi mom died. Sad".
And, still today, 2 months after viewing it, says "Bambi" every time we pass a section of trees.
Jacob, on the other hand, was mesmerized. I'm not sure how much he picked up of the film but he did say, repeatedly, in the days that followed "Bambi mom died. Sad".
And, still today, 2 months after viewing it, says "Bambi" every time we pass a section of trees.
the power of story
After reading Pippi, we watched the 1974 film version.
It looks 1974'ish - the camera angles, the special effects, the fact that the film was dubbed in English...
And yet, the power of the story came through.
When Pippi was saying good-bye to Tommy and Annika, I looked over at Claire who was sitting beside me on the couch. I noticed that she was crying. "I don't want her to leave her friends" she said tearfully. "But I want her to be with her dad".
These moments are beautiful to me - they are when the Truth in a story comes out and speaks to our own sense of Truth of what is right and wrong in the world, of what could or should be. Pippi is fictional but what the story says about friendship, about fun, about wonder is Truth.
It looks 1974'ish - the camera angles, the special effects, the fact that the film was dubbed in English...
And yet, the power of the story came through.
When Pippi was saying good-bye to Tommy and Annika, I looked over at Claire who was sitting beside me on the couch. I noticed that she was crying. "I don't want her to leave her friends" she said tearfully. "But I want her to be with her dad".
These moments are beautiful to me - they are when the Truth in a story comes out and speaks to our own sense of Truth of what is right and wrong in the world, of what could or should be. Pippi is fictional but what the story says about friendship, about fun, about wonder is Truth.
David's imagination
It seems that David is developing quite the imagination lately.
"I have a button that I can push and then my eyes pop out" he told Claire the other day.
The ever practical older sister asked him if she could see it.
His reply? "I can only use the button at night." He then elaborated on his idea (probably because he noticed that he had garnered quite the audience. "I can also push a button and pop my head out. All my body parts. And then I go down on a waterslide..."
David's competitive nature is also coming through more and more these days.
"I'm smarter than you" he told our 8 year old neighbor friend Angela.
"You are?" she challenged "What's 30 + 2?"
"I know it. But I can only say it when I'm sleeping"
"I have a button that I can push and then my eyes pop out" he told Claire the other day.
The ever practical older sister asked him if she could see it.
His reply? "I can only use the button at night." He then elaborated on his idea (probably because he noticed that he had garnered quite the audience. "I can also push a button and pop my head out. All my body parts. And then I go down on a waterslide..."
David's competitive nature is also coming through more and more these days.
"I'm smarter than you" he told our 8 year old neighbor friend Angela.
"You are?" she challenged "What's 30 + 2?"
"I know it. But I can only say it when I'm sleeping"
"I'm being God"
Not sure where he came up with this but Jacob was parading around our house this morning with a blanket wrapped around him.
"I'm being God" he said.
"I'm being God" he said.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
happy heat wave
for 3 days now, we've been enjoying a MI heat wave
and, we're living it up large. eating cream popsicles. swimming in the kid pool. using sidewalk chalk. dancing around the crazy daisy (sprinkler). biking over to the downtown fountains and playing in them. eating dessert on our front porch. having sleepovers in the bedrooms that have air conditioners. and, my favorite, a glass of wine the minute jon steps in the door (as opposed to when we sit down for supper 5 minutes later...believe me, those 5 minutes make a huge difference!)
happy summer.
and, we're living it up large. eating cream popsicles. swimming in the kid pool. using sidewalk chalk. dancing around the crazy daisy (sprinkler). biking over to the downtown fountains and playing in them. eating dessert on our front porch. having sleepovers in the bedrooms that have air conditioners. and, my favorite, a glass of wine the minute jon steps in the door (as opposed to when we sit down for supper 5 minutes later...believe me, those 5 minutes make a huge difference!)
happy summer.
pippi...she still has the appeal
we're reading pippi longstocking right now and claire and david laugh out loud when we read it.
jon remembers watching the tv show. i remember reading it and seeing film versions.
claire tried to sleep like pippi does last night (with her feet on her pillow and her head under the covers). david loves hearing about the monkey. jacob said "pippi egg on head" when we ate eggs on sunday morning.
and, our neighbor caroline whose father is swedish, just brought over some swedish cookies that pippi made in the book (serendipitously she made them for a school assignment).
yup. pippi, like all the others, has joined our family
jon remembers watching the tv show. i remember reading it and seeing film versions.
claire tried to sleep like pippi does last night (with her feet on her pillow and her head under the covers). david loves hearing about the monkey. jacob said "pippi egg on head" when we ate eggs on sunday morning.
and, our neighbor caroline whose father is swedish, just brought over some swedish cookies that pippi made in the book (serendipitously she made them for a school assignment).
yup. pippi, like all the others, has joined our family
david did it!
the smile across his face could have lit up the world.
he was so proud of himself.
he did it.
he learned how to ride a two-wheeler last week and hasn't stopped biking since.
so fun to see him happy, confident, giddy with joy.
he was so proud of himself.
he did it.
he learned how to ride a two-wheeler last week and hasn't stopped biking since.
so fun to see him happy, confident, giddy with joy.
claire the librarian
claire and her friend angela have turned claire's bedroom into a library.
there's mountains of books piled up in her room, all in carefully planned out orders and quantities. there's a check out area. there's a reading area.
they act out the librarians and get david and jacob in trouble if they talk too loud (even though i've worked so hard to get them past the stereotype of librarians telling people to be quiet!).
after telling her that i think librarians are some of the most powerful people in the world because they get to chose which stories a community/city gets to read, claire decided that she wouldn't have any bob the builder stories or barbie stories but that she'd have lots of bearstein bears, caillou and pippi longstocking.
as i try to make sense of my theoretical framework for my dissertation, that of literacy sponsorship - the people, institutions, commercial/cultural forces that influence individual's literacy development and acquisition, i can't help but wish that i could just study my own kids.
there's mountains of books piled up in her room, all in carefully planned out orders and quantities. there's a check out area. there's a reading area.
they act out the librarians and get david and jacob in trouble if they talk too loud (even though i've worked so hard to get them past the stereotype of librarians telling people to be quiet!).
after telling her that i think librarians are some of the most powerful people in the world because they get to chose which stories a community/city gets to read, claire decided that she wouldn't have any bob the builder stories or barbie stories but that she'd have lots of bearstein bears, caillou and pippi longstocking.
as i try to make sense of my theoretical framework for my dissertation, that of literacy sponsorship - the people, institutions, commercial/cultural forces that influence individual's literacy development and acquisition, i can't help but wish that i could just study my own kids.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
"You see George, you've really had a wonderful life"
I feel that way.
Mochas. Flowers. Cards. A birthday video. Presents. Phone calls. A list of why I'm loved.
Jon, kids, family, friends: thank you.
Mochas. Flowers. Cards. A birthday video. Presents. Phone calls. A list of why I'm loved.
Jon, kids, family, friends: thank you.
on parenting and tv shows
jon and i have started watched some new tv shows.
modern family. the middle.
very different shows. different reasons why we like each of them. but they bring us laughter, insight and a needed break from tasks around the house.
if i were to write a memoir some day, i think i would use TV shows as my chapter titles:
cosby show: growing up
sisters: high school
boston public, ally mcbeal: first years out of college
west wing: first years of marriage, first kid
six feet under: when david was a baby
wire: when jacob was a baby
the middle: eli's birth
modern family. the middle.
very different shows. different reasons why we like each of them. but they bring us laughter, insight and a needed break from tasks around the house.
if i were to write a memoir some day, i think i would use TV shows as my chapter titles:
cosby show: growing up
sisters: high school
boston public, ally mcbeal: first years out of college
west wing: first years of marriage, first kid
six feet under: when david was a baby
wire: when jacob was a baby
the middle: eli's birth
eli
just realized that i don't even have a tag for darling eli. wee one as i like to call him.
it's probably because i usually do my blog posts at night and night time is his fussy time. jon and i take turns holding him, rocking him, showering him with attention.
he's 3 months old already.
he smiles with his whole mouth. not just an upwards lift of his lips. it's an all out open mouth grin.
i could just eat him up.
i do know i sit and stare at him more than i did with the other kids. he's my last baby. my last chance to be present in these his moments of baby-being.
people ask me what kind of personality he has. with each kid i've had, i've become less and less able to respond to that kind of question. i'm just not sure.
it could be because i'm less tuned into how eli is different than the others, that this collective mass of baby personalities has merged together, that i feebly try to define him by what the others aren't or are.
but i think it's also because i've grown much more humble as a parent over these 6 years. there's much more that i don't know and there much more that i'm ok with not knowing or needing to label or fit into a tidy label or description.
it's probably because i usually do my blog posts at night and night time is his fussy time. jon and i take turns holding him, rocking him, showering him with attention.
he's 3 months old already.
he smiles with his whole mouth. not just an upwards lift of his lips. it's an all out open mouth grin.
i could just eat him up.
i do know i sit and stare at him more than i did with the other kids. he's my last baby. my last chance to be present in these his moments of baby-being.
people ask me what kind of personality he has. with each kid i've had, i've become less and less able to respond to that kind of question. i'm just not sure.
it could be because i'm less tuned into how eli is different than the others, that this collective mass of baby personalities has merged together, that i feebly try to define him by what the others aren't or are.
but i think it's also because i've grown much more humble as a parent over these 6 years. there's much more that i don't know and there much more that i'm ok with not knowing or needing to label or fit into a tidy label or description.
who's the boss?
for better or for worse, i've been using "the boss" terminology.
when we have a sitter over, i'll often tell the kids that when i'm gone, the sitter is "the boss". i then go into the list. "claire, you're the second boss. david, you're the third boss". and then, because jacob is screaming "jacob, jacob, jacob" because he wants to be included, i always add "and jacob you're the fourth boss".
today claire and david were fighting over something, i don't even remember what it was. i told them that i was going to take it away. "it's not fair" david retorted.
"it is because i'm the boss" i said.
"mom. you're not the boss" he said with a very serious look on his face.
"oh yeah? who is then"
"Jesus is the biggest boss" he said. then he walked back outside.
when we have a sitter over, i'll often tell the kids that when i'm gone, the sitter is "the boss". i then go into the list. "claire, you're the second boss. david, you're the third boss". and then, because jacob is screaming "jacob, jacob, jacob" because he wants to be included, i always add "and jacob you're the fourth boss".
today claire and david were fighting over something, i don't even remember what it was. i told them that i was going to take it away. "it's not fair" david retorted.
"it is because i'm the boss" i said.
"mom. you're not the boss" he said with a very serious look on his face.
"oh yeah? who is then"
"Jesus is the biggest boss" he said. then he walked back outside.
sarah plain and tall
the kids and i started reading it today.
i cried on the second page.
it's such a good book.
claire loves the little brother character. i'm sure he reminds her of david.
she asked what "plain" meant. i wasn't exactly sure how to define it for her.
i cried on the second page.
it's such a good book.
claire loves the little brother character. i'm sure he reminds her of david.
she asked what "plain" meant. i wasn't exactly sure how to define it for her.
david james wants to be a ninja
this morning i took claire and david james to a children's ballet performance in grand rapids. the title of the show was: every princess ballerina needs a superhero dancer.
it was a story about an older sister who wanted to be a princess ballerina and didn't want her pesky little brother playing with her.
rather fitting for the two of them.
we all really enjoyed the show. david's best part was watching the "ninja dancers". not surprising as ninjas are a bit like street break dancers and knights put together, two of his favorite roles to assume when he plays.
it was a story about an older sister who wanted to be a princess ballerina and didn't want her pesky little brother playing with her.
rather fitting for the two of them.
we all really enjoyed the show. david's best part was watching the "ninja dancers". not surprising as ninjas are a bit like street break dancers and knights put together, two of his favorite roles to assume when he plays.
jabob seech 'chool...case in point
last week jacob started going to "speech school". it's actually an early on playgroup (federal funds) designed for 2 year olds who need extra help in lots of different categories. there's a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, a behavioral therapist, etc.
jacob loved the idea of going to school. the morning of his first class, he put his backpack on the minute he woke up. he didn't say goodbye to me when i dropped him off. when we got home, he immediately went to our fridge with his craft in hand and demanded that i display it there.
he's only had 2 classes but does seem to really enjoy them.
his speech issues have made me much more aware of the developmental steps in the speech process. with claire and david, i remember really enjoying watching and hearing them developing their speech. but with them, it was effortless. i remember david going from not talking to talking in sentences in what seemed like a matter of days.
with jacob, it's been more frustrating as i've struggled to understand what he's communicating. paying more attention to his speech though has revealed to me the complex ways in which speech does develop. i'm noticing a lot more - new vocabulary words, new sentence structures, new phrasing and i'm really enjoying this too.
jacob loved the idea of going to school. the morning of his first class, he put his backpack on the minute he woke up. he didn't say goodbye to me when i dropped him off. when we got home, he immediately went to our fridge with his craft in hand and demanded that i display it there.
he's only had 2 classes but does seem to really enjoy them.
his speech issues have made me much more aware of the developmental steps in the speech process. with claire and david, i remember really enjoying watching and hearing them developing their speech. but with them, it was effortless. i remember david going from not talking to talking in sentences in what seemed like a matter of days.
with jacob, it's been more frustrating as i've struggled to understand what he's communicating. paying more attention to his speech though has revealed to me the complex ways in which speech does develop. i'm noticing a lot more - new vocabulary words, new sentence structures, new phrasing and i'm really enjoying this too.
happy birthday - jacob style
i woke up on the morning of my 35th birthday listening to jacob singing in his bed.
it went something like this:
happy birthday to you happy birthday mommy, monday, tuesday, monday, tuesday, can we fix it, jesus loves me.
a wonderful compilation of his latest favorite songs: happy birthday, a days of the week song, Bob the builder theme song, and his all time favorite jesus loves me.
not a bad way to wake up. and, in some ways, a very profound message to ponder.
it went something like this:
happy birthday to you happy birthday mommy, monday, tuesday, monday, tuesday, can we fix it, jesus loves me.
a wonderful compilation of his latest favorite songs: happy birthday, a days of the week song, Bob the builder theme song, and his all time favorite jesus loves me.
not a bad way to wake up. and, in some ways, a very profound message to ponder.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
MOM! askyouquestion
We've signed up Jacob for speech school. Last month we had an EarlyOn speech therapist come into our home to assess Jacob's speech. Her prognosis wasn't surprising to us: expressive language delay and hypernasality (Mom VD and Laura's speech expertise has come in handy for us).
Basically, Jacob often doesn't pronounciate things well (though there doesn't seem to be an identifiable pattern) and doesn't often put words together, still talking at the one word sentence level.
He does, however, have a wide vocabulary. His moment to shine during the assessment was when his sock fell off while he was doing one of the activities. "Freezing" he said and then tried to put his sock back on. I do take full credit for introducing this word into his vocabulary as I say it all the time (living in an old house during a MI winter...I shall say no more).
In the past week or so, we've seen some improvement in his speech. He's been using more action verbs. He's talking in a few more two word sentences ("eat it" "shoe on").
He's also started responding to ANYTHING we say with "why?"
Me: Jacob, get your shoes on.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because we're going outside.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because it's nice outside.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because it's almost spring.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because God made it that way.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because God wanted order and structure in our world.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because God's creation reflects who God is...
OK. I usually never even get past the second "why?" because, to be honest, I'm not even sure Jacob knows what "Why?" means. I think he's learned that when he says it, he gets a response. And, as third kid, there is a small small chance that he might not get as much attention as say his older sister did. This also might explain his yelling, screaming and extremely loud talking.
The other thing he's been saying is "MOM"...I'll stop there, he usually prefaces everything he says with MOM, MOM, MOM (there is another small small chance that I don't respond right away to when my kids talk to me). Anyway, Jacob's been saying "MOM askyouquestion (one word).
We know he picked this up from Claire who has been saying this for the last few months.
Claire: At the dinner table, "Mom, can I ask you a question?"
Me: "Sure Claire"
Claire: "Mom, can I be done?"
Jacob's version is to string all those words together.
Jacob: MOM askyouquestion? (he even does the intonation)
Me: Sure Jacob, what is it?
Jacob: silence. Stares as me.
Me: Jacob, did you want to ask me when we're going to the waterpark?
Jacob: nods his head
Ah. I love this kid so much. His excitement for life is contagious. The little glimmer in his eyes when he discovers something new, the smirk on his face when he finds something funny, the feel of his arms around my neck when he's giving me a hug. The stories he could tell. And, once he starts talking more, I'm sure he will.
Basically, Jacob often doesn't pronounciate things well (though there doesn't seem to be an identifiable pattern) and doesn't often put words together, still talking at the one word sentence level.
He does, however, have a wide vocabulary. His moment to shine during the assessment was when his sock fell off while he was doing one of the activities. "Freezing" he said and then tried to put his sock back on. I do take full credit for introducing this word into his vocabulary as I say it all the time (living in an old house during a MI winter...I shall say no more).
In the past week or so, we've seen some improvement in his speech. He's been using more action verbs. He's talking in a few more two word sentences ("eat it" "shoe on").
He's also started responding to ANYTHING we say with "why?"
Me: Jacob, get your shoes on.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because we're going outside.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because it's nice outside.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because it's almost spring.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because God made it that way.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because God wanted order and structure in our world.
Jacob: Why?
Me: Because God's creation reflects who God is...
OK. I usually never even get past the second "why?" because, to be honest, I'm not even sure Jacob knows what "Why?" means. I think he's learned that when he says it, he gets a response. And, as third kid, there is a small small chance that he might not get as much attention as say his older sister did. This also might explain his yelling, screaming and extremely loud talking.
The other thing he's been saying is "MOM"...I'll stop there, he usually prefaces everything he says with MOM, MOM, MOM (there is another small small chance that I don't respond right away to when my kids talk to me). Anyway, Jacob's been saying "MOM askyouquestion (one word).
We know he picked this up from Claire who has been saying this for the last few months.
Claire: At the dinner table, "Mom, can I ask you a question?"
Me: "Sure Claire"
Claire: "Mom, can I be done?"
Jacob's version is to string all those words together.
Jacob: MOM askyouquestion? (he even does the intonation)
Me: Sure Jacob, what is it?
Jacob: silence. Stares as me.
Me: Jacob, did you want to ask me when we're going to the waterpark?
Jacob: nods his head
Ah. I love this kid so much. His excitement for life is contagious. The little glimmer in his eyes when he discovers something new, the smirk on his face when he finds something funny, the feel of his arms around my neck when he's giving me a hug. The stories he could tell. And, once he starts talking more, I'm sure he will.
Our mini-vacation...with the emphasis on "mini" and the sarcasm on "vacation"
frankenmuth, MI (2 hours away from us), overnight stay in a hotel/indoor waterpark.
spring trip 2010.
we have returned. it was quite the trip.
our first trip since we've become a family of 6. and, we're happy to say that we survived, survived but didn't exactly thrive.
where to start?
let's just say that there seemed to be a discount at the waterpark for people with extremely large tattoos. there were also a proliferation of warning signs telling waterpark goers to limit their time in the park because of the extremely high chlorine levels. and, though the hotel had recently been "refurbished", the 1980s wallpaper border was left behind.
let's just say that though there were 5 slides in the waterpark, a basketball area, a river, a splash zone and a playground, my kids preferred "the hot pool" (aka the hot tub). actually preferred is not strong enough. we had to forcibly remove david away from it.
let's just say that the town of frankenmuth was really just an extended version of holland's windmill island except with a german theme. Kitschy (please notice the capital K)
let's just say that early on in the trip, jon and i high-fived each other because the trip was going so well. we didn't, however, high five each other when jacob had a complete meltdown in the bavarian inn, home of the world famous chicken dinner. or when the kids refused to go to sleep even though it was 10pm, viewing their big hotel beds as gymnastic mats. or when the kids put themselves in front of the TV (not even turned on) at EVERY CHANCE THEY GOT pleading and begging us to let them watch TV and not go back to the waterpark. or when, in the world famous bronner's christmas store (how can everything in this town be world famous?!), i had sales clerks following my every move. 4 kids in a store dominated with dainty christmas ornaments and precious moments figurines...i guess it was rather dangerous.
jon's final comment of the trip, as we pulled into the driveway, "just think deb, it can only get better"
spring trip 2010.
we have returned. it was quite the trip.
our first trip since we've become a family of 6. and, we're happy to say that we survived, survived but didn't exactly thrive.
where to start?
let's just say that there seemed to be a discount at the waterpark for people with extremely large tattoos. there were also a proliferation of warning signs telling waterpark goers to limit their time in the park because of the extremely high chlorine levels. and, though the hotel had recently been "refurbished", the 1980s wallpaper border was left behind.
let's just say that though there were 5 slides in the waterpark, a basketball area, a river, a splash zone and a playground, my kids preferred "the hot pool" (aka the hot tub). actually preferred is not strong enough. we had to forcibly remove david away from it.
let's just say that the town of frankenmuth was really just an extended version of holland's windmill island except with a german theme. Kitschy (please notice the capital K)
let's just say that early on in the trip, jon and i high-fived each other because the trip was going so well. we didn't, however, high five each other when jacob had a complete meltdown in the bavarian inn, home of the world famous chicken dinner. or when the kids refused to go to sleep even though it was 10pm, viewing their big hotel beds as gymnastic mats. or when the kids put themselves in front of the TV (not even turned on) at EVERY CHANCE THEY GOT pleading and begging us to let them watch TV and not go back to the waterpark. or when, in the world famous bronner's christmas store (how can everything in this town be world famous?!), i had sales clerks following my every move. 4 kids in a store dominated with dainty christmas ornaments and precious moments figurines...i guess it was rather dangerous.
jon's final comment of the trip, as we pulled into the driveway, "just think deb, it can only get better"
Saturday, March 20, 2010
The ballet
I took Claire and David to see a ballet last night. Claire and I had seen the performance before but she really wanted to go again and really wanted David to go with her.
On a sidenote, the two of them have been getting along so well lately. "Claire's my best friend" David told me the other day. He gets so excited when she comes home from school and is often so disappointed when she goes up to her room to have some alone time. The two of them play Uno, Slamwich, Sorry, and Go Fish. They play up in the attic for hours or go outside and construct elaborate worlds of snow or mud. Last weekend, when we made the bedroom switch and moved Claire into her own room, she brought her sleeping bag into the boys' room at bedtime and said "I want to sleep by David. I missed him."
The ballet performance was based on the book The Squire and the Scroll. It's a bit too didactic in its allegorical nature for my taste but it's an engaging tale nonetheless.
The kids love the story. We read it a few times prior to going and then got dressed up and went to see the ballet version of it. It was magical for the kids. We saw some of the dancers after the performance and then came home and had ice cream and hot chocolate.
Today we acted out the story. David was the knight. Claire was the squire. And me? I was the red dragon. Good times.
On a sidenote, the two of them have been getting along so well lately. "Claire's my best friend" David told me the other day. He gets so excited when she comes home from school and is often so disappointed when she goes up to her room to have some alone time. The two of them play Uno, Slamwich, Sorry, and Go Fish. They play up in the attic for hours or go outside and construct elaborate worlds of snow or mud. Last weekend, when we made the bedroom switch and moved Claire into her own room, she brought her sleeping bag into the boys' room at bedtime and said "I want to sleep by David. I missed him."
The ballet performance was based on the book The Squire and the Scroll. It's a bit too didactic in its allegorical nature for my taste but it's an engaging tale nonetheless.
The kids love the story. We read it a few times prior to going and then got dressed up and went to see the ballet version of it. It was magical for the kids. We saw some of the dancers after the performance and then came home and had ice cream and hot chocolate.
Today we acted out the story. David was the knight. Claire was the squire. And me? I was the red dragon. Good times.
In place of a pet...
For a number of reasons, we will not be getting a pet (at least if it's up to me...Jon really want to get a bird).
Aside from the developmentally delayed gerbil we adopted from our school and a couple of rabbits who ended up as meat at a rabbit farm (something of which I only found out in my adult years), I never had a pet growing up or at least one that I felt connected with.
I do see beauty in the relationships that people establish with their furry friends and do agree that in many ways I've missed out on something. However, I remain resolute in my decision not to have pets.
To compensate, I've started buying dog treats and cat food for the pets of our neighbors. The kids love feeding Whitby, Francie, Piper, and Joey (in Jacob's case, it's throwing the biscuit as soon as the dog comes close).
I also try to visit pet stores with the kids when time allows. A huge act of love for me as I almost vomit every time I walk into those stores and get engulfed by the smell of the animals.
And, probably because I do feel a bit selfish for inflicting my animal phobias on my children, we've also been reading lots of books that have animals as main characters. Stuart Little, Charlotte's Web and now, The Mouse and the Motorcycle series. Claire, David and I are now into the second book and I think I'm enjoying it as much as they are.
The world of books is often the world I feel most at home in. There, Ralph is a cute and daring mouse. One I'd consider a friend. He's nothing like the mouse that inhabited our basement for awhile last winter. Nothing like the squirrels who made their home in our kitchen ceiling.
Aside from the developmentally delayed gerbil we adopted from our school and a couple of rabbits who ended up as meat at a rabbit farm (something of which I only found out in my adult years), I never had a pet growing up or at least one that I felt connected with.
I do see beauty in the relationships that people establish with their furry friends and do agree that in many ways I've missed out on something. However, I remain resolute in my decision not to have pets.
To compensate, I've started buying dog treats and cat food for the pets of our neighbors. The kids love feeding Whitby, Francie, Piper, and Joey (in Jacob's case, it's throwing the biscuit as soon as the dog comes close).
I also try to visit pet stores with the kids when time allows. A huge act of love for me as I almost vomit every time I walk into those stores and get engulfed by the smell of the animals.
And, probably because I do feel a bit selfish for inflicting my animal phobias on my children, we've also been reading lots of books that have animals as main characters. Stuart Little, Charlotte's Web and now, The Mouse and the Motorcycle series. Claire, David and I are now into the second book and I think I'm enjoying it as much as they are.
The world of books is often the world I feel most at home in. There, Ralph is a cute and daring mouse. One I'd consider a friend. He's nothing like the mouse that inhabited our basement for awhile last winter. Nothing like the squirrels who made their home in our kitchen ceiling.
the storm
We shut the door on the kids. That simple act, arguably, was one of the best parenting moves we've ever done.
We had just come back from a church retreat at Timberwolf Lodge. Jon and I were exhausted. All of the people who told us that we were crazy to do a weekend retreat with a newborn (and 3 other kids) were absolutely right. it was crazy.
Despite the craziness, the kids had a glorious time. "This is better than being at home" was David's proclamation as he and Claire and Jacob "settled in" for the night in our 6 bunk bed cabin room, not falling asleep until close to midnight both of the nights we were there.
When we got back home on Sunday afternoon, we unpacked and then had the brilliant idea to put the kids to bed at 6:30, thinking they would fall asleep immediately upon hitting their pillows.
No such luck.
The first sign of the storm was David, at the top of the stairs, yelling "It's a party!" "Go back to bed" we said. A few minutes later we heard a big thud and some muffled laughing and screaming.
This is what we saw when we opened the door to their bedroom: the three kids stripped down to their underwear/diapers, all the bedding from the beds and the closet in a huge pile in the middle of the room, pillows being thrown every which way, and all of them yelling "It's a party!" (though in Jacobese it was "Pardy! Pardy! Pardy!)
As I said, we looked. We shut the door. We went downstairs and let them celebrate for another 1/2 hour.
We had just come back from a church retreat at Timberwolf Lodge. Jon and I were exhausted. All of the people who told us that we were crazy to do a weekend retreat with a newborn (and 3 other kids) were absolutely right. it was crazy.
Despite the craziness, the kids had a glorious time. "This is better than being at home" was David's proclamation as he and Claire and Jacob "settled in" for the night in our 6 bunk bed cabin room, not falling asleep until close to midnight both of the nights we were there.
When we got back home on Sunday afternoon, we unpacked and then had the brilliant idea to put the kids to bed at 6:30, thinking they would fall asleep immediately upon hitting their pillows.
No such luck.
The first sign of the storm was David, at the top of the stairs, yelling "It's a party!" "Go back to bed" we said. A few minutes later we heard a big thud and some muffled laughing and screaming.
This is what we saw when we opened the door to their bedroom: the three kids stripped down to their underwear/diapers, all the bedding from the beds and the closet in a huge pile in the middle of the room, pillows being thrown every which way, and all of them yelling "It's a party!" (though in Jacobese it was "Pardy! Pardy! Pardy!)
As I said, we looked. We shut the door. We went downstairs and let them celebrate for another 1/2 hour.
books i'm reading
Mitten Strings for God and the gift of an ordinary day (both by Katrina Kenison).
I've really enjoyed reading these books. Will try to remember to add quotes at some point.
I've really enjoyed reading these books. Will try to remember to add quotes at some point.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Lego guys
When my sister Sarah came for her weekend visit, she gave the kids a collection of Lego people. My kids LOVED the gift. In fact, Jacob still tries to take some of the Lego people to bed with him (yup, it's official, he has attachment issues).
During his quiet times, when Claire's at school and Jacob and Eli are napping, David likes to play Lego. He's been asking me to play with him. Unlike Jon, I do not jump at such requests. In fact, I have long since even tried to build things out of lego with the kids (I think it was about a year ago when Claire surpassed my lego building skills. She was the one to point that out to me. This is what I get for having a husband who passes along his engineering genes to my kids).
My latest approach when I play with David is to build ramps out of tables, pillows, books and boxes and have his Lego cars zoom down them. We see if any of the Lego guys fall out of the cars and then we take them to the hospital. Not sure how long this strategy will work but for right now, David and I are enjoying it.
During his quiet times, when Claire's at school and Jacob and Eli are napping, David likes to play Lego. He's been asking me to play with him. Unlike Jon, I do not jump at such requests. In fact, I have long since even tried to build things out of lego with the kids (I think it was about a year ago when Claire surpassed my lego building skills. She was the one to point that out to me. This is what I get for having a husband who passes along his engineering genes to my kids).
My latest approach when I play with David is to build ramps out of tables, pillows, books and boxes and have his Lego cars zoom down them. We see if any of the Lego guys fall out of the cars and then we take them to the hospital. Not sure how long this strategy will work but for right now, David and I are enjoying it.
"Sorry", "Uno" and "Snap"
We've been playing a lot of games as a family these past 5 weeks. Too cold to go outside. Too crazy for me to try to do anything outside the house with 4 kids. So, we've been inside...a lot.
David and Claire got Uno for Christmas and love playing it together. David, in particular, seems to love the game. To be more precise, he loves winning. He'll often try to change the rules so that he does win. He also tries to stack the deck when I leave to get some tea or to get Eli. When he's unable to do that, his strategy is to keep playing new games until he is the winner. I think the record number of games we played in a row was 7.
Dare I admit that I've been teaching him how to trash talk when we play games together?
He's a natural.
David and Claire got Uno for Christmas and love playing it together. David, in particular, seems to love the game. To be more precise, he loves winning. He'll often try to change the rules so that he does win. He also tries to stack the deck when I leave to get some tea or to get Eli. When he's unable to do that, his strategy is to keep playing new games until he is the winner. I think the record number of games we played in a row was 7.
Dare I admit that I've been teaching him how to trash talk when we play games together?
He's a natural.
"Mom, the brothers are annoying me"
Claire made this comment to me a few days ago.
I can only wonder how many other times she will say this in the years to come :)
I can only wonder how many other times she will say this in the years to come :)
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
BOB
Jacob seems to have a few OCD tendencies. He likes to take things to bed with him and clutch them as he falls asleep. For awhile it was a toothbrush holder. Then it was some LEGO people. Lately it's been Bob the builder books, not 1 but 4 of them.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Claire's first blog post...phonetic spelling at its best
VAN DUiNEN DEB JON CLAIRE DAVID JACOB FAMIOY
COUSINS JABN TANA ASR ATSRA AGARN
RBE ATDAN AGPAL
ATCLN AGJL NOWA
COUSINS JABN TANA ASR ATSRA AGARN
RBE ATDAN AGPAL
ATCLN AGJL NOWA
claire and the tooth fairy
As I fumbled around trying to find her two teeth under her pillow at 11:30pm, Claire sat upright in bed.
"I knew it was you Mum", she said.
"What are you talking about? I'm just tucking you in Sweet Pea" I responded, trying to cover up.
"I knew it was you Mum", she said.
"What are you talking about? I'm just tucking you in Sweet Pea" I responded, trying to cover up.
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